the ping pong song

"do you know what it feels like..luvin someone that's in a rush to throw you away?"

hmmmm. it's soo hurtin..ayt?
This song distracts me so much. Its bothering me for like days now. It speaks of GOODBYEs; which I, really HATE. There are a lot of changes in my daily routine right now that I still can't accept. I haven't moved on yet. And it's soo hard for me. It's killing me each and every second of the day.

First is the end of the Killerbee's OK Show.
DJ Iceman, who's an asset of the station..or shall I say a big name in the industry has left. I soo loved this radio jock, along with his co-host, DJ Rod Rodriguez. Their show was like a meal for me..a very sumptuous dinner meal, I should say. Not only me, but also my ditse. It has been part of our daily lives, our stress booster and company on every lazy nights. On DJ Iceman's last night..we really went at the booth and bid this great guy a goodbye. [or 'bad'bye? coz we're like cryin there as he had his last words.]
Sad to say it has to end. :c

Misery #2 is my never-ending heart problem.
I had this friend of mine..whose been soo soo special to me. I treated him as VIP in my life. I thought we have a connection [a friendly one]. I thought we share the same anxieties and happiness in life coz i thought again that we are what they call..'bestfriends'. yeah we call each other as one but that's so yesterday. Things aren't the same now. We have done so much, we have croossed the border lines. And I think it is the reason why our 'friendship' is about to end. [or ended? :c]

watever. watever. watever!!!!!
conclusion: IT HURTS SO MUCH.

"do you know? do you know? do you know? do ya?"

failed!

Flowers. Notes. Chocolates. Dinner date. Gifts. Ty bear. I expected to have any of these things/stuff last Vday. And yes I had! I got a rose, notes, greetings here and there, and my most wanted ty bear from Mcdonalds! weeepeeh!^^ My day was very great. I had a good mood, people are so nice, everything's so sweet. I must have been so happy ryt? But damn not- I wasn't- just about 70-30 of happiness. How my day turned out to be so bright just equalled how blue I was that night. That big :-D on my face was replaced with a :-( when a thought entered my mind, "Hey, where is he? I thought we'll gonna see each other tonight[as what he said?] Its past dinner time and yet he hasn't called me." I was so eager to see him. I love being with him- fooling around, chit-chat, dota?haha, just bond. He was super cool and real fun to be with. His jokes, the humurous, senseless talks, you just can't help but smile. =). sigh. Minutes had passed...still sitting in some old building..wondering, patiently waiting, glancing at people..looking around..to the left..to the left, everything ya own in the box to the left, in the closet, that's my stuff..oOops! voila! There he was, standing in front of me!=D. Of course, I was soo happy and relieved. He even teased me saying I looked great and sexy. I don't mind if he did mean it or he was just tryin to make me smile but heck, he's there, I'm with him, and that's all I care. Yes he's there, he came but- he showed up to tell me he can't go with me. OMG. OMG. I was used to forcing him but at that moment, I just can't. I dunno why. Something has changed. I was hesitant to please/demand like before. To make matters worse, I had just refused 3 invitations, thinking Im gonna spend lotsa time with him that night. I EXPECTED SO MUCH, YET I FAILED. I left him, walking so fast and holding back the tears that I then knew would fall. A ring on my phone helped it- a friend inviting me to go out and so I found myself at the Autoshop[Ate Molit was there too!We're really cousins.haha]. I danced till I drop. I didn't drink! swear.^^. I met guys, cool people who entertained me so much. Classmates and old friends were there too; even the guy whom I refused to go with!whooah. Well, i enjoyed it anyway. I really had fun but when we got home and was about to sleep, tears just kept on pouring. Like what they say, you can never just walk up to a boy and tell him to feel the same way as you do. You have to wait for him to do it in his own way and in his own time. I could've followed Dj Ainee's advice not to have high expectations- and could've not had myself hurt. =(